


The Reason Why

by RowWithAChipNPin



Series: Post Mission [3]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Brooding, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-02
Updated: 2013-07-02
Packaged: 2017-12-16 20:59:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/866548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RowWithAChipNPin/pseuds/RowWithAChipNPin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even after ten years, Hibari Kyoya wonders what has caused him to stick around this long and why a single person can turn him into mush. He wonders why he's still with Tsunayoshi, knowing that one day, he'll break his heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Reason Why

**Author's Note:**

> This is a direct sequel to Silver Lining.

_**Someday, I'll leave you.** _

? O'CLOCK A.M., VONGOLA HQ, ITALY:

Bleak sunlight trickled in under the curtains, spilling over the carpet of the bedroom. It was a nice room, as bedrooms go, with a large plate-glass window overlooking the back lawn and beyond that, the Tyrrhenian Sea. Wood-paneled walls were decorated by beautiful pieces of Italian artwork and portraits of generations past. Photos were taped to the wall above the dresser, and box weapons were stacked below on the top. A high-backed wood chair was pushed up near the window, and a pair of finely made dress shoes, a silk tie, and a matching jacket formed a trail leading from the chair to the bed.

_**I'll break your heart and I won't look back.** _

The dim morning light, muted by the still-heavy layer of clouds that warned of more rain to come, outlined the occupants of the bed: two young men, one a brunet and the other raven-haired. The brunet was petite and slender, curled up against the other like a content cat, his lips curved into a minute smile. The dark-haired one was lithe and muscular in a way reminiscent of a wildcat. Dusky grey eyes watching his lover vigilantly, a pale, long-fingered hand on the younger's back.

_**Someday, you'll wake up alone, because I'll have walked out the door and left you behind.** _

Tsuna mumbled in his sleep, shifting positions and tightening his hold on Hibari's waist. The Cloud Guardian chuckled softly and petted the young Vongola's head—some might say stroked, and in any other case, it would be apt, except this is Hibari Kyoya and the word "stroked" indicates affection, which is not in any way synonymous with the carnivorous Mafioso.

"Affectionate" _is_ , however, a very good way to describe Sawada Tsunayoshi.

_**You deserve more than I can offer you. You deserve someone that will love you with all their heart, someone that will declare to the world that you are theirs. Not someone like me, someone who can't.** _

Hibari knew even back when he was the head prefect that Tsuna was too good for him. The brunet deserved someone better than him: a violent, sadistic, sociopathic delinquent when he was a teenager, and now, as an adult, a violent, sadistic, sociopathic criminal. Sawada Tsunayoshi was none of the above. He was caring and somehow still innocent even after taking on the title of Boss, and despite being the head of Italy's largest and most powerful Mafia Family, he was no criminal. He was willing to do anything to protect what he cared about; he was even willing to destroy the Vongola if it kept his friends and family safe.

_**Can't you see that you can do so much better? Can't you see that being with me is only hurting you?** _

Hibari knew he was a difficult person to love, and it hurt him that he had to keep Tsuna at arm's-length. Sometimes he wondered if the young Boss wasn't better off without him, and many times over the years he'd questioned whether Tsuna would be happier without his Cloud Guardian. After all, he had the other Guardians to watch his back, and all Hibari did was pull the brunet down with him. The skylark wasn't blind; he'd seen the looks he got wherever he went.

_**I know what people think of me. I know that they hate and fear me. I know that they expect me to go on a bloody rampage and bite everyone to death.** _

At meetings and conferences, he was regarded with fear and apprehension, tolerated only because Tsunayoshi vouched for him. During fights, he was considered the embodiment of pain and suffering and death, and he would never forget the pure terror in his victims' eyes. Throughout the entire Mafia, he was believed to be one of the most dangerous and merciless among them, largely an urban legend to most. Even within the Vongola Family itself, he was met with mistrust and dread by enforcers, and only somewhat accepted by the other Guardians, who, by now, knew full and well that Hibari would fight alongside them and aid them when he felt like it and nothing they said or did would change that.

_**Being involved with me is only damaging your reputation. It has always confused me how you manage to be so weak and yet so strong; perhaps that very trait is why you are the Tenth Vongola Boss. I can see how important it is to you, to make and keep good relationships with other Mafia Families. I can't say I understand, and if it were me, I wouldn't bother. But to you, it's important, and so I stand by at your shoulder, ready to attack if you need me or threaten if I see fit.** _

Once, when they were in bed, bodies intertwined and enjoying the warm afterglow of sex, Hibari brushed away loose strands of chocolate-colored hair and looked down at the tender caramel eyes. "Someday," he said, his voice as cold and heartless as ever, "I will leave you." He didn't mention that no matter what, he would never, ever stop loving Tsuna, even when he walked out the door for the last time. It was something neither of them could help, the upturned hourglass of their relationship, nothing but a trickle of sand waiting to run out. Tsuna had smiled up at Kyoya and nodded.

_**Someday, I will leave you, Sawada Tsunayoshi.** _

"I know," he said softly, his understanding clearly displayed on his face.

_**But I will never stop loving you.** _

"I know."

Without fail, though, every time Kyoya started to doubt, Tsuna was right there to remind him. With something as simple as a chaste kiss or a tight hug, he would remember _why_ he hadn't left Tsuna long ago: he couldn't, though not for lack of trying. He'd tried—several times—to break off their relationship before it got them both into hip-deep shit or ended in heartbreak and tears. Nevertheless, every time, without fail, he'd find himself returning, because he couldn't live without the younger man. He couldn't live without that constant glow that always surrounded Tsuna, or without those soft touches that weren't long themselves, but lingered with him for hours afterwards. He couldn't live with himself knowing that someone else got to see the brunet when he was sleeping adorably…or when he was erotically flushed red, panting and moaning, back arched and mouth parted in that oh-so-kissable way…

_**Somehow, you've turned a carnivore like me into mush. I went from being the most feared person in Namimori to being glorified Jell-O. All because of you. You and those damned big brown eyes of yours.** _

Every time he returned to the Vongola—to Tsunayoshi—he would go to deliver his report to the omnivore—because Tsuna had long ago stopped being an herbivore, but he would never be a carnivore—before he went to scare the cooks into giving him food or to train. Tsuna would take the report, read it, and put it away, and without fail, he would then stand up, look at Hibari with those eyes, and hug him. Hibari would feel Tsuna's heart fluttering like a trapped hummingbird against his chest, he would feel spiky hair brushing against his chin, and he would feel his little lover smile into his shirt. Kyoya's stone cold heart would melt a little and he would be helpless to do anything but kiss the top of his head and remember all the reasons why he didn't leave the omnivore behind.

_**I know all of this. I know you would be better off without me. I know you would be safer if you had never gotten involved with me in the first place. I know that being with me causes you as much pain as it does pleasure. I'm a dangerous man with a heart of ice and stone, and I will never be able to love you like you deserve.** _

It wasn't unlike him to muse over this in the morning, while Tsuna, curled up next to him, slept. From time to time, Hibari wondered what their lives would be like if Tsuna hadn't been chosen as Vongola Decimo—if he'd never gotten involved in the world of the Mafia. Tsuna almost certainly would've never made it to any higher education, and he'd still be stuck in Namimori with a bleak future; Hibari would still be ruling Namimori with an iron fist and no mercy. On the other hand, perhaps, maybe Hibari would have found his way into the Mafia anyway, considering his lack of humanity and morality.

_**It doesn't matter what might have happened. I know that I wouldn't have it any other way.** _

Hibari was pulled out of his thoughts by a shifting next to him, and he watched while his lover woke up. Tsuna sighed and his eyes flickered open, still dark with lethargy. Hibari kissed the top of his head. "You have a meeting with the Varia in twenty minutes." Not "good morning," or "rise and shine," or "I love you." A reminder of a dreaded meeting, because Tsuna will hear the meaning behind it, and he will smile and kiss Kyoya anyway.

_**Someday, I will leave you. I will break your heart, and it will be the most painful and difficult thing I will ever have to do. I'll do it nevertheless, not because I don't love you, but because I love you too much. Until that day, I will keep coming back, so you know that I still love you.** _

Tsuna groaned and burrowed closer to his Cloud Guardian, clearly not in any mood to move. "You _had_ to remind me, didn't you? You couldn't just let me stay in bed for a while."

He was trying hard to sound annoyed but failing miserably. Kyoya smirked and mercilessly shoved the younger Mafioso off the bed. He landed with a _thud_ and a sound of discontent, sounding very much like a disgruntled cat.

"The sooner you get dressed, the sooner I get my coffee."

The reason he hadn't left to get his coffee already was that someone—someone who was going to be in the infirmary very, _very_ soon, feeling very, _very_ sorry—had given Lambo a camera. He was now running around with the little machine practically glued to his hand, snapping pictures of everyone and everything.

_**I'll come back to those beautiful eyes, that patient smile, and the hug I know will keep me grounded. I'll come back to the whispers and the rumors, and maybe I'll discourage them and maybe I'll add fuel to the fire, depending on my mood.** _

Kyoya watched as Tsuna dressed, his eyes tracing the line and muscles. There were scars marring the creamy skin, ghosts of battles and skirmishes long gone. The fight with Byakuran had left its marks, etched forever on the canvas of his back. It always made Hibari furious to see them; it wasn't that he didn't have his own collection of trophies, but someone else had the gall to hurt what belonged to _him,_ that made him angry _._ Anyone else might be put off by being referred to as a possession, but Tsuna only shook his head and smiled when people brought it up, because that was the kind of man Hibari Kyoya was—possessive. He proved that every time he left bite marks and hickies on Tsuna's neck, or glared icy daggers at someone who was getting just a _bit_ too friendly with the brunet, or threateningly raised his tonfas.

_**I'll come back to handing in reports I don't care about, sitting through meetings I don't care about, and beating the crap out of enforcers I don't care about (no matter how many times you say, "EH! Hibari-san! Leave them alone. It's bad enough Gokudera-kun sends them to the hospital; you don't need to, too.").** _

Vongola Decimo turned back around to face Kyoya and closed the distance between them in seconds, looking somewhere between handsome and adorable in his Armani suit, like a little boy in his father's clothes. But Hibari knew that Tsuna was no longer a little boy, and his boyish looks belied a hidden fire, the same hidden fire that had attracted Hibari to Tsunayoshi in the first place. Liquid chocolate eyes gazed up at him and lay a slender—almost girlish—hand flat against his chest.

"You're cranky this morning," Tsuna observed, his eyes twinkling when smiled. He raised himself up on his toes and placed a kiss on his lover's jaw. "I love you," he murmured against the sharp bone. When he moved to step away, an iron grip clamped down on his wrist, and swift as his namesake, the skylark dove down and captured Tsuna's mouth in a searing kiss. Just like everything else about the Cloud Guardian, it was heated and fierce, stealing Tsuna's breath and leaving him craving more.

When he pulled away, Kyoya cupped the smaller man's face in his hand and said, "I'm going to break your heart someday." He says it as if he were stating the weather; it's a fact of life, something neither of them can change. Tsuna smiled knowingly and gazed up into deadpan grey eyes, and he nodded, soft chocolate hair falling in his eyes. Once again, Kyoya's heart melted a little.

_**I'll come back to** _ **you** _**, until the day I walk out the door for the last time.** _

"I know."

_**Until the day I return to you for good, after—once again—I remember why I've stuck around this long.** _

"I know."

Tsuna knows and he doesn't worry, because he knows that the man he loves will always come back to him—no matter what happens.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave some feedback and validate my use of free time.


End file.
